Mr. Burke Is Berserk! (Turtleback School & Library Binding Edition) (My Weirder School)
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
FOR USE IN SCHOOLS AND LIBRARIES ONLY. A latest collection of offbeat adventures featuring the students and faculty at Ella Mentry School profiles eccentric groundskeeper Mr. Burke, who in addition to landscaping, plants a corn maze on the baseball diamond, drag races on a riding mower and buries something suspicious under the monkey bars.
mayor,” he told her. Mayor Hubble leaned into the microphone. “I will not raise taxes!” he shouted. “I’m going to lower taxes!” “If we don’t have enough money,” asked Mrs. Jafee, “shouldn’t you raise, uh, the T word?” “Read my lips,” Mayor Hubble shouted at her. “No new taxes!” “Why do we need to read your lips?” I asked. “You’re talking.” “That’s just an expression, Arlo,” Andrea told me, rolling her eyes. “I don’t understand,” said Mrs. Jafee. “How can we get the money to balance the
Hubble. “This will improve everyone’s schoolwork. If the students only have one pencil, they’ll make fewer mistakes.” “What about crayons?” asked Miss Holly, our Spanish teacher. “No more crayons,” said Mayor Hubble. “You can melt down candles and make them into crayons. That will save us a lot of money.” “That’s loopy!” yelled Mrs. Roopy. The mayor pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket to remind him of the other things he was going to cut. “Starting today,” he announced, “I’m turning
Andrea says. Mr. Burke put the finishing touches on his sculpture. Then he put the chain saw back into the shed and came out with a shovel. “What’s he doing now?” asked Neil the nude kid. Mr. Burke went over to where the monkey bars used to be. Then he started digging a hole in the ground with the shovel. “See? It’s like I told you,” I said. “He must be digging up the bodies of the kids he murdered.” “Arlo, stop trying to scare Emily,” said Andrea. “I’m scared!” said Emily. “Maybe he’ll
walk faster than those things. It was like watching a turtle race. But it was still exciting, and everybody was yelling and screaming. “Put the pedal to the metal, Mr. Klutz!” “You can beat him, Mr. Burke!” We all walked alongside the lawn mowers so we could see who was winning. First Mr. Klutz took the lead. Then Mr. Burke took the lead. Then Mr. Klutz was ahead. Then Mr. Burke was ahead. “This is a real seesaw battle!” shouted Ryan. “Are they going to fight on the seesaws?” I asked.
Mayor Hubble down and took him to jail. Maybe he’ll be there for the rest of his life. Maybe we’ll raise enough money to bring back the art and music programs. Maybe all the men will shave their beards and stop saying “Yee-ha.” Maybe everybody will stop talking about violins. Maybe they’ll turn the water fountains back on and put toilet paper in the bathrooms again. Maybe we’ll get the monkey bars back from Rent-A-Monkey Bars. Maybe the teachers will get to keep the hot tub that isn’t in the